Have to Sue

Double Exposure's small but vital reporter, Victoria Penner: On behalf of my listeners, I have to know...

Canada's former Prime Minister, Brian Mulroney: And this is why I've launched my fifty-million-dollar lawsuit. You people in the media are responsible for soiling my good name.

Victoria Penner: Yeah right.

Brian Mulroney: And I am on the warpath. Mila, Caroline, come here!

[music starts in the background.]

Brian Mulroney's wife, Mila Mulroney: Okay, Brian.

Brian Mulroney's daughter, Caroline Mulroney: What is it, dad?

Brian Mulroney: I want you to help me tell this small but vital reporter what we're going to do.

[Brian sings, with Mila and Caroline singing back-up along with him.]

Brian Mulroney: Uh, thanks to you,

I've got to sue,

Oh how much we'll see you through,

About fifty million buckaroo hoo hoos, a hoo hoo.

Oh well I've been defamed, so I'm going to have to sue.

If you knew,

What they do,

In the courts to hacks like you,

So get ready, I'm going to sue hoo hoo, a hoo hoo.

Because my name is mud, I'm just going to have to sue.

Have to sue.

Have to sue.

Want to, need to, got to, yes I have to sue.

About fifty, uh, million buckaroo hoo hoos, a hoo hoo.

Well, I've got to clear my name, so I'm going to have to sue.

Uh, it's all true,

What I went through,

When my name was sent back to,

The Mounties. Oh, a nasty crew hoo hoo, a hoo hoo.

Because it's pay back time, so I'm going to have to sue.

Victoria Penner: Geez, I knew you could do a bad rendition of Irish Eyes, but I never thought I'd hear you doing Buddy Holly.

Brian Mulroney: Oh, you have no idea what I'm capable of when I'm angry.

Victoria Penner: So you're suing Canada for fifty million dollars?

Brian Mulroney: Oh yes. But remember, half of it's going to charity.

Victoria Penner: Which one? The Victims of Political Landslides Benevolence Society?

Brian Mulroney: Have to sue.

Have to sue.

Want to, need to, got to, yes I have to sue.

I could use some, uh, new Gucci shoe hoo hoos, a hoo hoo.

Oh yes, I'm short some cash, so I'm going to have to sue.

Uh, it's no ruse,

I can't lose,

Can't you see my name is bruised?

I'm not guilty. So don't be confu hoo hoosed, a hoo hoo.

They put Mulroney down, so I'm going to have to sue.

They put Mulroney down, so I'm going to have to sue.

Written and Performed by Bob Robertson and Linda Cullen.

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