If I Had 30 Billion Dollars
Host of CBC radio program "Gilmore's Albums", Clyde
Gilmore: Our opening selection on
today's program: Paul Martin, the infamous Finance Minister with
the machine gun speaking
style, has never been known as a balladeer in his many years of
political service. Still, the
Solomon Brothers record label has issued a four CD set of songs
called "Paul Martin Sings From
Our Book." (A veiled reference to the fact that the bond-rating
agencies run Canada.) The
following track begins in the House of Commons in Ottawa, as Mr.
Martin, the ex-shipping
magnate, extols the virtues of his budget for 1996. Here, then,
the dour tuney tones of that tepid
tenor, Paul Martin.
Paul Martin: So, as you can see, Mr. Speaker, the
Canadian economy, under our government, is
just booming. Uh, we've created thousands of new jobs, we've
maintained the social safety net,
everybody's happy. Uh, but if I could just ask for one thing,
only one thing, it would be this...
[music starts in the background]
Spectator1: Oh my God, he's gonna sing!
Spectator2: Oh no! Stand back. This could be
Spectator1: Clear the room. Please, clear the room!
[footsteps of a large amount of people exiting]
Paul Martin: 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. If I had thirty billion
Back-up Singers: If he had thirty billion dollars,
Paul Martin: I would pay that deficit off.
Back-up Singers: He would pay that big bad deficit off.
Announcer, Bob Sharples: We interrupt this song for no apparent reason, except that no one wants to hear it continued. Thank you very much.
Written and Performed by Bob Roberton and Linda Cullen.
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