The Tobin Reel

[slam door]

Newfoundland Premier, Brian Tobin: Damnation! I gave up a great job, as Captain Canada, to come back and lead my people of Newfoundland to glory. I'm anointed Premier, and what do they want to know? How will I get the province out of debt? How will I bring back the cod fishery? Oh no. They pester me about that silly pension. I can't possibly scrape by on just the Premier's salary of a hundred and thirty five thousand! I'm damn well taking that fifty-three-thousand-dollar pension and they can lump it. Gloria! I wish I would hear the end of this. Maybe a little music on the radio will calm me down.

Radio: Welcome back to Ol' Port Jamboree, and let's start off with an old favourite from ol' Come-by-Chance Way. Jim O'Leary and the Tobin Reel.

Tobin: What the...?

Song:

Oh, it's hard, me boys,

It's hard on the sea.

It's harder still,

When you work on the land.

But pity the boy,

Who's become our Premier,

Scraping by on a

Hundred and thirty-five grand.

Keep your pension,

Oh, Brian my dear.

Fifty-three thousand

Will bring you some cheer.

Starving to death,

We know how you feel.

That's why we're singing,

The Tobin Reel.

Without an election,

He's lord of the Rock,

And he waits for the glory

Days to begin.

No bread on the table,

Or shoes for the tot,

'til that Central Canadian

Pension kicks in.

Keep your pension,

Oh, Brian my dear.

Fifty-three thousand

Will bring you some cheer.

Starving to death,

We know how you feel.

That's why we're singing,

The Tobin Reel.

Keep your pension,

Oh, Brian my dear.

Fifty-three thousand

Will bring you some cheer.

Starving to death,

We know how you feel.

That's why we're singing,

The Tobin Reel.

[click, radio turns off]

Tobin: Oh, enough of that nonsense! Good God! I'm starting to regret becoming Premier. You know, if I'd stayed in Ottawa, right now, in that Cabinet shuffle they would have made me Prime Minister. Of that I'm certain.

Written and Performed by Bob Roberton and Linda Cullen.

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