Make War Not Love
Clinton: Right now, oh, here's my guitar man, Chet
Atkins. Hi Chet.
Chet Atkins: Hiya bubba.
Clinton: Chet, the boys and I are just about to record
a song that I wrote. It's all about what it
takes for an American President to get re-elected. And I've even
got some famous back-up
singers with me. Y'all know George Bush?
Bush: Good to meet you. Nothing else to do with my
time right now.
Clinton: And of course, the famous Ronald Reagan.
Reagan: Well, yes, uh, how are you?
Clinton: So I'm just gonna check with the bearded
engineers through the glass there. We about
set to go?
Engineer1: We're rolling in here.
Engineer2: All systems are go, Mr. President.
Clinton: Okay. Ready boys? 1, 2, 3 and...
[music starts in the background]
Reagan: Well, am I doing bass or tenor on this one?
Clinton: Well, you try the tenor.
Bush: Do my best to sing bass for you on this one,
Bill.
Clinton: Well, I know you'll do us proud, George.
Alright everybody, here we go now.
[Clinton sings. Bush and Reagan's back-up singing is in
brackets.]
Clinton: Every President since Washington, (Washington)
Has a dream for which he yearns. (Oh, yes he yearns)
What he has to do to get the vote, (And win!)
And win himself a second term.
The answer is make war, not love. (Make war not love)
Pick a fight, stage a coup, bring someone down. (Bring 'em down)
Send our boys to wipe some Commies out.
You'll be President the second time around.
Bush: Didn't seem to work for me.
Clinton: Eisenhower had the Soviets, (Nikita's boys)
And JFK made Cubans wait.
Reagan: Well, what time is it now?
Clinton: LB Johnson picked on Vietnam,
And Nixon fought his war at Watergate.
The answer is make war, not love. (Make war not love)
Pick a fight, stage a coup, bring someone down. (Bring 'em down)
Send our boys to wipe some Commies out.
You'll be President the second time around.
Bush: Always wanted to know, Bill. What did you do
during the Vietnam War?
Clinton: Well George, I served my country by
volunteering for the hundred-and-first Oxford
debating team.
Reagan: Well, why are you rattling your sabre now?
Clinton: You see, Ron, there comes a time in a man's
life, when he has to go to war.
Fortunately, I'm too old now.
Jerry Ford just played some rounds of golf, (Whack, fore!)
But Carter, well he had Iran. (Iran)
Ronnie Reagan had Grenada, man.
Reagan: Yes.
Clinton: And George Bush beat the tar out of Saddam.
Bush: Drew a line in the sand!
Clinton: The answer is make war, not love. (Make war not love)
Pick a fight, stage a coup, bring someone down. (Bring 'em down)
Send our boys to wipe some Commies out.
You'll be President the second time around.
I'll be President the second time around.
Now, what'll it be? Cuba or China?
Reagan: Well, yes.
Written and Performed by Bob Roberton and Linda Cullen.